I woke up on Friday morning with a long morning of doctors appointments ahead of me. The first appointment was with Samuel's pediatrician, Dr. Stone. My oldest child, Lydia, is 3 and she has never seen Dr. Stone. But this was going to be Samuel's third time to see Dr. Stone...and he was only three days old! He had been having some trouble with vomiting - not a great thing for a newborn - and we were trying to determine the cause.
The second appointment was with my OBGYN, Dr. Smith. I had a biopsy done on a lump in my left breast two days earlier (the day after Samuel was born) and I needed to go to his office to get the results. As I waited in Dr. Smith's office the only thing on my mind was how thankful I was for Samuel. He was there with me in the office and I could not keep my eyes off him! God had blessed me with a beautiful, healthy, adorable baby boy only three day’s earlier and nothing could take that joy away from me. But a few minutes later Dr. Smith came into his office with a very upset look on his face. He was struggling to figure out what his next words should be. He said, "Erin, there is no easy way to say this, but your biopsy came back positive for breast cancer." I felt slightly like I was in another world. The “c” word tends to send chills up the spine. I looked at him and said, “Okay.” Despite the chills, I had an amazing calm over me when he told me. This was probably partly naivety about what was to come, but I think it was mostly God giving me the simple trust and assurance that this was His plan for me right now and He will be glorified through it.
Well, my "long day" of doctors appointments got a good bit longer. After he called Matt to tell him the news, Dr. Smith set up an appointment for me to meet with a surgeon. Matt dropped off Lydia and Hudson at a friend's house and met-up with me at the surgeon's office. After giving us a fairly lengthy summary of my situation and the basic "plan of attack" I was sent off for a couple tests and then to a meeting with an oncologist. Like the surgeon, the oncologist was very good in helping Matt and I understand all the details of my situation and what the next steps would be. Matt and I were both very thankful for all the doctors we met with - they were incredibly informative, compassionate, encouraging, and proactive in helping us through those first few hours of dealing with the diagnosis.
Some people might turn away from God in resentment when they learn they have cancer (or when anything particularly difficult happens to them). But I have no greater comfort than being able to turn towards God in the simple faith that I am His child and He cares for me...always. My life never has been and never will be my own; I am God’s child and I trust that He does everything in order to bring glory to Himself.
