Wednesday, April 6, 2011

On Running

I just read my cousin in-law's blog today and she was talking about once being a runner and now, a few months after having a baby, being a jogger aspiring to be a runner once more. She is learning her body's new-found limitations and is working hard to overcome them. I can totally relate to that.

I am pretty sure I have never been as good a runner as my cousin in-law, but I have always loved running. Before I had Samuel I was training for a half marathon and looked forward to running every chance I got! Then I was forced to stop because of a hip injury. After a few months' rest I thought I could start again, but could not because of my pregnancy with Samuel. I planned on getting back at it after Samuel was born (in order to shed that baby weight), but then those plans were altered when I was diagnosed with breast cancer.

About a month ago we found out about the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure 5K run in Savannah and Matt and I decided to participate in it. Matt is not and has never really been a runner (or a jogger). He is active, but has always disliked running and has never trained for any races. But he told me that he was determined to train for this race. To be honest, I doubted that he would follow through with his commitment at first. But he has been going out several nights a week to train for the race. I have been so proud of him!

Of course, after seeing him run (and checking out the Nike GPS App he has been using) I got the bug to run. I finally decided that there was no reason that I couldn’t start running and try to train for the race with him. I thought, "I can handle it. It's just 3.1 miles, right?!" Well, I apparently underestimated how hard my surgery and chemotherapy have been on my body. When I went out for my first jog I was in utter pain - especially in my chest - and realized it was just not going to happen that day. But being a bit hard-headed, I decided that the pain of that first jog was a fluke and I tried jogging again the next day. But after my second failed attempt at jogging it became very clear to me that I was not going to be able to do the 5K. I might do the mile walk, or I might simply just watch everyone else do the race.

I know I will be able to jog and maybe even run again someday. But for now I am having to learn to be content to live "in this skin in this time," as my cousin in-law put it. I have to remind myself that this is only a phase and God will strengthen my body in His perfect timing.

My flesh and my heart may fail, but God 
is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
Psalm 73:26