As Matt has already mentioned, my most recent chemotherapy treatment definitely took a toll on me. But God has blessed me tremendously by using this portion of my cancer journey to open my eyes to the blessings that I have in my children. Since I have not been feeling well we have spent most of our time at home. I have enjoyed watching them and playing with them. Yes, they require hard work, they fight, they make huge messes, they demand a lot, and let’s just be honest…they are just plain sinners! But they continually amaze me with how they show love, what they understand, how they make me (and each other) laugh, and what they say.
Lydia (3 and ½)
It has been neat to see Lydia grow in her understanding of her world and her God. For instance, she is rapidly picking up on the details of daily life. The other day I was on the phone with Matt and as I hung up Lydia said, “Was that Matt…I mean daddy?” Then she looked up from her toy she was playing with and said…”I’m texting!” Where did she learn about texting? JLydia is also growing in her sensitivity to serious life issues. She is very aware of the fact that when I go to the doctors I am sick for many days afterwards. I have tried to let her know when that will happen so that she is not surprised. But she hasn’t quite figured out how long it will take for me to get better. The other day she asked me the other day if my hair would be back when I came home from the doctor. Best of all, Lydia is beginning to grasp the Gospel. Last week our family was sitting by the fire having devotions. We were reading the story of Nicodemus and how Jesus told him he must be born again. Matt and I noticed that Lydia’s attention was more focused than normal. Not only was she still and attentive to the story, but she asked a lot of questions about what it means to be born again. As he had done many times before, Matt explained that being born again means that Jesus gives you a new heart and that He lives in your new heart – forgiving you for your sin and helping you love and obey God. This time Lydia quickly asked if Jesus could come and live in her heart. It was amazing to sit there and watch – as if in slow motion – how God opened the eyes of her heart to the Gospel. Her faith is childlike, but in many ways that’s just how Jesus wants it: “Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it (Mark 10:15).”
Hudson is my comedian. I will be honest and say that he is quite a challenge for me. But I am slowly understanding how he understandings things and how I can relate to him and communicate with him more effectively. I have been going over three key questions with Hudson. Question #1: What is your name? Question #2: How old are you? Question #3: Who made you? Sometimes when answering these questions his wires get a little crossed. If I ask Hudson what is name is his response is, "God". When I ask him how old he is, he responds, "Huson". Then I will ask him who made him and he says, "two". It gives him great joy to make me laugh. He loves to come and give hugs and kisses…especially to his brother Samuel.
Samuel (3 months)
Samuel has brought me so much joy with his newfound smiling and laughing. He smiles all the time now and I hope that smile will not fade as he grows older. I am sure it will stick as long has he has Hudson as his brother. J He loves to be entertained by his brother and sister. And loves to "talk" to me as I play with him.
Facing this illness has made me want to appreciate the little things in life so much more. God has graciously allowed me to do that with my kids. I pray for them evey day. I pray that they will have good relationships in their lives. I pray that they will love people and each other through their actions and their words. I pray for their health and safety. And most importantly, I pray that they will each grow to know and love their Savior Jesus Christ.