Medical Update: Pray Without Ceasing

I have found that one of the harder things in dealing with cancer is the unknowns.  There is always the worry that this cancer will come back, or that there will be side effects of my treatment.

Every three months I have a follow up appointment with my oncologist and every six months I have a follow up with my surgical oncologist. Those are my two "cancer doctors.” I recently have had very positive appointments with both of those doctors.

My oncologist has me taking a shot to control the cysts that I was having, and so far that has helped tremendously. As a negative it has caused me to have major hot flashes and can likely cause osteoporosis, but at the present it is working and things look good. They will do blood tests every three to six months as a way to make sure there is no reoccurrence. 

My follow up with my surgical oncologist was positive as well. I was informed that when my type of breast cancer spreads it usually will spread to the lungs or bones, so if I have any really bad pain that would be something to get checked out. I have had a tear in my hip joint for about a year now, being treated with cortisone injections. Because of this I have been put on bone calcium supplements so that my bones will stay strong and not encourage bad cell production. But overall my doctor was very pleased with how I am doing!

Even with getting good reports from all my doctors there is always that "what if" in the back of my mind. As I have thought through this, I have been reminded of Paul’s words in Philippians 4:6, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God." The fact that Paul says "do not" indicates that being anxious isn’t just unhelpful – it is actually sinful. God commands us not to be anxious. This does not mean that I can’t be concerned about real and serious needs, but that I should not give into the temptation to worry or be anxious about those concerns.

And just like God commands us not to be anxious, he commands us to pray. And the fact that he puts those two commands together is no mistake. When I am tempted to worry or be anxious, the best way to remove that temptation is to go directly to God in prayer. My daughter has learned a verse in her Pre-K class that she recites all the time. It is 1 Thessalonians 5:17, "Pray without ceasing." She gets so excited to recite something, and having her recite this verse so often has not only engrained it in her heart, but also in mine. When I get anxious, I need to pray. And when I get anxious again, I need to pray. That is what it means to pray without ceasing. 

I would appreciate your prayers as I continue to recover from this past surgery and decide what and if there will be a follow up surgery in the coming months. Thank you!

The Encouragement of Jesus' Suffering and Sympathy

As we enter this Christmas season, I have found myself continually reminding my children what Christmas means and why we celebrate it for a whole month. All of us, especially our children, are surrounded by wrong ideas about Christmas, and so it is so important to keep the real meaning of Christmas in the forefront of our minds. Christmas is the celebration of Jesus Christ, the eternal Son of God, becoming a human being in order to save us from our sin.

Sometimes I forget the fact that Jesus’ life as a human being was a life very much like ours. I was reminded of this recently from something I read as a part of my daily Bible reading. [By the way, if you are looking for an easy and organized approach to reading the Bible and you have an Apple device, I highly recommend the Reading Plan app.] In Hebrews 4:14-16 we are reminded that Jesus lived a life of weakness, suffering, and temptation, just like us. The only difference is that Jesus never sinned.

Since then we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.

Reflecting on the details of the life Jesus lived on this earth is both humbling and encouraging. It is humbling because it reminds us that our sin was the reason he came to earth and experienced weakness, suffering, temptation, and ultimately, death. And it is encouraging because, as the verses above tell us, Jesus’ experience on earth makes him able to sympathize with us as we deal with our weaknesses, sufferings, and temptations. And as we go struggle with those things, we can look to Jesus not only for sympathy, but also for mercy and grace. None of us can deal with something like suffering without sinning. In fact, suffering usually reveals more of our sins to us, forcing us to see our need for Jesus’ mercy and grace.

As we enter this Christmas season, I am praying that I will keep the realities of Jesus’ birth and life in the forefront of my mind. And I am praying that Jesus’ sympathy, mercy, and grace will continue to be a great comfort and encouragement to me as I continue on in this life of weakness, suffering, and temptation.

Medical Update and God's Goodness

Yesterday was a long, but encouraging day. I had my sixth chemotherapy treatment on Tuesday (which means I'm halfway done with this round of chemo), so I was dealing with some of the fatigue and nausea that follow my treatment. Also, I had a bone scan done to see if my cancer has spread. I have been having pain in the center of my chest ever since my surgery. I just assumed it was from my surgery, but when I told my doctors about it they wanted me to get a bone scan done. My oncologist told me any time a cancer patient has pain in a bone it needs to get checked out because it could be an indication that the cancer has spread to the bone. So yesterday I had the bone scan done. In morning I went to the hospital to have a radioactive dye injected into my body to help the doctors read the scan. The dye had to be in my body for three hours before they could do the scan, so we returned to the hospital later in the afternoon to have the scan.

When my doctor suggested I have this bone scan done I began thinking a lot about what it would mean if the cancer had spread. I had not thought a lot about the possibility of the cancer spreading until this point, but the thought of it spreading was a little scary. But God gave me an incredible peace and trust, knowing that whatever the test results were, He is good, He loves me, and He is using every situation in our lives to bring Him glory. Thankfully, the technician told me that the scan looked normal. A radiologist still needs to look at it, but it is nice to know that it looks like the cancer has not spread into my bones. Praise God!   

While Matt and I were very grateful for my good medical report, we spent a while last night reflecting on some acquaintances' discouraging medical reports we read yesterday. Ruthie, the mother of one of Matt's classmates from college and seminary recently began battling cancer for the third time. And a couple from Matt's parents' church in Dallas have a one year-old granddaughter named Lucy who has been battling a serious illness and is not expected to live much longer. There is so much sickness all around us! We simply can't escape its reality or its pain. But as Lucy's father (also a pastor) reminded us, Jesus' death and resurrection have everything to do with how we as Christians respond to these hard issues of sickness, pain, and death. He is an excerpt from his most recent blog entry.

It is human nature to be repulsed by sickness, weakness, and death. Just make it go away. Just make it stop. Probably, it reminds us of our own mortality. And we are afraid. (There’s fear again.) And this fear causes people to become desperate. Searching for a cure. Traveling from one place to another for this treatment or that experimental remedy. Researching and reading. Everything from medicine to therapy and remedies natural, spiritual, and metaphysical. We fear death, and so we want to do something—anything to stop it. The grim fact is no matter how much we exhaust ourselves by trying, we cannot stop death. Death is our enemy. In fact, death is our worst and ultimate enemy. But our worst enemy has already been defeated. How do I know? Jesus Christ lives.

Ironically (and Providentially), next week is Holy Week. The week when we mark the finality of Christ’s victory over death as we walk with Jesus from his triumphal entry into Jerusalem to the Last Supper, to his crucifixion, and of course, his glorious resurrection. And so, the question is not, “Can God heal Lucy?” Of course he can. Nor is the question, “Why doesn’t God heal Lucy?” That has not been given to us to know—either in this situation or in any other. Actually, one way to answer the “Why” question is “God has already healed Lucy by strengthening her one day at a time for another year of life with us after her heart attack. And God will heal Lucy completely, either in this life or in his presence.” Of that, there is no question.

Praise be to God that Christ's death and resurrection has freed us from the curse of sin and death! We can face the hardships of this life with faith and hope in the new life he gives us as we share in His resurrection! And praise God that there are faithful saints like Ruthie Gutierriez and Lucy Jarrett whose physical suffering in this life points us to Christ and the promises of the life to come!

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you, who by God's power are being guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ. Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory, obtaining the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls."

1 Peter 1:3-9

A God Who Sometimes Says No

People have blessed me in so many ways during my battle with cancer - from providing generous financial help, to delivering delicious home-cooked meals, to giving up personal time to babysit my kids, to sending notes of encouragement, and the list goes on. All of these things have been incredibly helpful and encouraging.

But perhaps the best thing anyone do for me during this season of my life is to pray for me - for healing, for wisdom and patience, for emotional strength, for faith and hope, and for God to glorify Himself through me. The Bible teaches that prayer isn't just positive thinking or merely wishing certain things, but it is actually our means of communicating with the one true God. God promises to hear and to answer every prayer that is offered to Him by faith and in Jesus' name. He has given us the gift of prayer to cast our cares upon Him and to ask for Him to work in our lives. And so that is why I often include specific prayer requests in my blog posts.

The trick is that God does not promise to answer every prayer in the way we hope He will. He is not a magic genie who is obligated to fulfill our requests. As Jesus taught in the Lord's Prayer, we should pray for God's will to be done, not ours. That seems to make good sense when it comes to people praying for selfish or evil things. But what about when our prayers are for good things - for instance, for someone to be healed from cancer - why would God not agree to answer such a prayer with healing? Or to put it more personally: why would God allow my cancer to spread to my lymph nodes when so many people were praying that would not happen? If I have been praying so hard from the beginning that I would not have to do radiation, then why would God deny my request and have me do radiation?

In God's good timing, this past Sunday our pastor, John Fender, addressed this very topic in his sermon on Deuteronomy 3:23-29, "A God Who Sometimes Says No." He does a fantastic job of answering this perplexing question that countless Christians have faced throughout history. It was a great help to me - especially during this time - and I pray it will be a help to many of you as well.


A God Who Sometimes Says No from John Fender on Vimeo.