The Kids Are Home...

The kids are home...I don't know how I'm going to do this! I think the three of them keep getting busier and busier and more and more energetic! I know I can do this because I have before. I just need to take it one day at a time.

The timing of this surgery worked out for many reasons, one of them being that my mother-in-law and father-in-law were in town for Christmas and were willing to stay with Lydia, Hudson and Samuel when I went in for surgery. They kept them here in Pooler for a couple days and then drove Lydia and Hudson to Atlanta to stay with Matt's sister, Kristin, and her family. Lydia and Hudson loved getting to drive to Atlanta with Grandma and Grandpa and they loved getting to play with their cousins Adalynn (5), Brooks (4), and Isaiah (9 months). I think they may have worn everyone out! I am thankful for the time and energy that our family was willing to give in caring for our children. What a blessing! I am also thankful for the willingness of friends around here in Pooler who were able to keep Samuel. Thank you!

Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you.

Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord,

because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.

1 Corinthians 15:58

 
I have mentioned before that one thing that this cancer journey has taught me is that I am not in control of my life. I have been reminded of this numerous times, especially in regards to my children. It is hard to have to give them up to different people to be taken care of. And I know it is hard on other people to have to watch them! And it is hard for me to continually be asking for help. But with each of these things God has provided. He has provided me a peaceful heart to allow them to go. He has provided servant hearted people willing and ready to serve. And he has provided contentment as I have continued to ask for help. 

I am so thankful to have my three beautiful children all back home and under one roof. I told Matt that it has been so nice and quiet here as the kids have been in Atlanta. But I have missed the voices of my sweet (and often times loud and obnoxious) little angels. 

I am continuing to recover well, but still cannot lift Samuel. I would appreciate prayers that my left arm and back would heal efficiently so that I can care for all three again soon.

Medical Update: A Smooth Surgery (Finally)

Posted by Matt Fray

As most of you know, Erin had surgery this morning in Charleston. She was in surgery from about 7:30am to 12:30pm, and is resting fairly comfortably now.

Compared to her previous surgeries, this one seemed to be very smooth. There were no surprises (like the discovery of more cancer February) and no difficulties (like her blood vessel problems in October). When I talked to her in the recovery area afterwards, she was sleepy and in pain, but she said that she felt far better than she had after her other surgeries. We are both so very thankful for this wonderful blessing and answer to many prayers!

As far as we know, the surgery seems to have accomplished what was intended. Two very basic things were done: the removal of her chest port, and the removal of several internal stitches which had not dissolved. And two more complex things were done: the removal of a "mystery lump" in her lower abdomen (which turned out to be another stitch and scar tissue), and a second attempt at reconstruction on her left chest (which involved taking a section of skin from the back of her left shoulder and placing it on her chest). The surgeon was very happy with how the reconstruction went (especially compared to the previous attempt), and Erin is happy that progress was made.

Lord willing, Erin's recovery will be as smooth as her surgery. Her surgeon will check in on her tomorrow morning to make sure everything is healing well, and then she can go home either Saturday or Sunday depending on how she is doing.

Thank you all for your continued prayers and encouragement!

UPDATE: I did forget one "not smooth" part of Erin's surgery. At some point during the surgery or recovery, her right eye got cut, which is causing her a lot of pain. However, she just got some prescription eye drops and the cut should be much better in 24 hours.

A Faithful Husband

I have been feeling better and better over the past several days. This next week will be my first week watching all three kids by myself and I am looking forward to having that quality time with them. My pain from the surgery is lessening and my blood levels are getting higher and higher. Through God's reminders to me in his Word, and through the encouragement and prayers of God's people my heart has been strengthened as well.

I was in to see my oncologist yesterday and everything looked good. They decided to have me get a shot in order to keep me from getting recurring cysts. They also decided to run a genetic test for a blood clotting disorder. If it turns out that I have this gene I will have to stop my Tamoxifen (the cancer medicine that I am taking for 5 years). Please pray that this test would come back with no genetic sign.

As I look back over this past month, I have realized just how thankful I am for my husband. He stayed by my side every day in the hospital. He has taken care of all three kids, and has been the one to coordinate help with childcare if we have needed it. He has cooked meals, cleaned the house, washed clothes, bathed children, and this weekend he even painted part of the house! And he did all this while working at church preparing lessons, planning activities, and shepherding the congregation. Matt has had a lot on his plate in this past year, but he has faithfully taken care of his family and has never stopped encouraging us through God's Word. The only way I know to thank him is to be the best wife I can be and encourage him daily in the same way he has for me. Thanks, Mattie, for being such a wonderful and faithful husband and for reflecting the Bible's command, "Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her."

I have had fun this week hanging out with my younger sister Bekah. She came in town all the way from Colorado to help me this week. This was a big sacrifice for her because she has two little ones at home about the same ages as Samuel and Hudson. I understand first hand how hard it can be to be away from your children. Little did she know what she was getting herself into when she agreed to come: not only are my kids "slightly" noisy and active, but she got roped into helping paint part of our house as well! Thanks so much Bekah!

They Will Know Us By Our Love

This past weekend several families from Park Cities Presbyterian Church (PCA) in Dallas held a garage sale in order to raise funds for Erin's medical costs. As you can see in the video below, this was a huge sale and the folks who coordinated it were so thoughtful and creative in planning all the details! The sale was a big success in every way and the funds raised will go a long way towards helping with Erin's medical costs.

We are so grateful to all those who helped with the sale - those who donated items, those who sorted and priced the items, those who worked during the sale, and to the Webster family who hosted the sale! Thank you for taking the initiative to serve our family in this way. The selflessness of your love for Erin is truly a reflection of your calling as saints in Jesus Christ!

"A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another:
just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.
By this all people will know that you are my disciples,
if you have love for one another.”
John 13:34-35

Medical Update

Though I am still dealing with a significant amount of pain from my surgery (two weeks ago today), I am thankful to be feeling well enough to be taking care of my kids again. There are some things that I still can’t do (or at least shouldn’t do), like lifting them or doing things that require a lot of physical exertion, but I am able to care for their basic needs.

There is no way any of us would have survived the last two weeks if my mother in-law and mother were not each able to come for several days to help out. And our good friend Lori continues to be a huge help and blessing to us. She has tirelessly and graciously cared for our kids for the majority of my doctors appointments, including watching them for four days while I was in the hospital for my surgery. Of course, there have been many other people helping us with childcare needs and we are so thankful for all of you! 

This week we met with both of my surgeons to follow-up from the surgery and to discuss plans for the coming months. The surgeons were both pleased with my recovery so far. I have had an unusual amount of pain, but everything seems to be good in terms of my body healing. One interesting follow-up fact that we learned this week is that the tumor that was found in my lymph node was actually .1 cm larger than the tumor in my breast at the time of surgery. We didn’t even know that tumor existed and it was larger than the one we were focusing on! As far as we know there is no reason to be concerned about this since none of my other lymph nodes contained any cancer. However, there may very well be stray cancer cells in other parts of my body, so I will do a follow-up round of chemotherapy once a week for twelve weeks (March 3-May 26) and then thirty consecutive days of radiation treatment. So we are going to be pretty busy with doctors visits in the coming months, especially in the next month as I will need to go to Charleston every Tuesday for follow-up appointments and to Savannah every Thursday for chemotherapy.

Surgery Update #5

Well, after three days in the hospital it looks like I will be headed home in a few hours. The surgery and recovery were not necessarily what I expected, but they were all part of God's plan for me. I am always amazed how the timing of God's plan is perfect. Though it is not necessarily a positive thing that my cancer spread to my lymph nodes it is good I am not having to deal with a more difficult recovery right now. I have had a few complications and have had trouble trying to manage my pain just from the mastectomies. Now I know a little more what to expect when I come back for my reconstruction surgery later this Summer or Fall.

Even though the hospital stay involved a fair amount of physical pain, it was wonderful to have several people take the time to visit me here. On the day of my surgery John Fender (our pastor) and the Grovenstein's (a couple from our church) drove up from Savannah to spend the day in the waiting room with Matt and to see me after the surgery. What an encouragement they were to us! Also, since he couldn't be here with me, my grandfather called a local PCA pastor (whose children my dad baptized) to come by and pray with us. I also had a friend from college, Anna Catherine Wilson Brooks, come visit. I had not seen her since college and so it was good to catch up a bit. Finally, my good friends Keith and Linda Kneeshaw came down from Columbia, South Carolina, today to visit. I knew Linda growing up in St. Louis and have not seen her for several years, so it was fun to see her as well.

Of course, I am looking forward to going home. Hopefully the kids will not climb on me like a jungle gym quite yet. I missed them so much! As I have been here in the hospital I have been so thankful for my husband Matt through all of this. He is my best friend and has been a true servant and has fulfilled our marriage vows: "For better or worse...in sickness and in health." He is an amazing man and has such a sacrificial heart. I am glad I was able to provide him with little entertainment during my more drugged-up moments.

Thank you again for all your prayers and encouragement. We have known God's peace and presence in this past week.

Thank You!

Praise the Lord! The Chick-fil-a night was a huge success! In just three hours we raised enough money to cover all of my chemotherapy costs! Thank you to all of you who took time out of your evening to come support me and my family. I am so thankful that I was able to be there for the whole evening to meet and catch up with all of you. I was excited to have the support of “celebrity servers” like Jamie Dean (from Lady and Sons), Mike Lamb (Mayor of Pooler), and Alice Massimi (WSAV), but I was just as excited to see my friends and all those who had never met me before!

Being interviewed by WSAV (NBC).

What a treat to meet Jamie Dean (Paula Dean's son)! Thanks for the cookbooks, Jamie!

Talking with Mike Lamb, Mayor of Pooler.

Eat mor chickin!!!

“I thank my God in all my remembrance of you.”

Philippians 1:3

Savannah Morning News Article

When Matt and I started this blog our goal was not merely to provide medical updates on my cancer, but more importantly to use this hard circumstance to point people to our loving, faithful, all-sufficient God. Ultimately, my cancer is not a curse to be endured, but a gift to be used for the glory of God. And so it has been our prayer that God would use my cancer and this blog for His glory. By His help and grace, I believe that is happening!

Last week, Anne Hart, a reporter from the Savannah Morning News, contacted me to ask if she could interview me for a "personality profile" article. I was surprised by the request and pretty nervous for what would be my first "media interview." But I quickly realized that this was not about me -  it was simply another way God was using me to point people to Him. So Matt and I (and several others) prayed that God would give me the wisdom and grace to speak clearly about how cancer, though a difficult circumstance, is an opportunity to realize our "idols" (independence, control, body image, etc.) and turn towards the God who alone provides for our every need in Jesus Christ (Philippians 4:19). 

The article was published in today's Savannah Morning News. I just read the article for the first time and am happy to say that the article turned out even better than I expected. Anne did a great job of communicating  how God has been proving Himself faithful to me, as well as how He has been using my cancer to point people to God and His Word. I am also thankful for the "public" opportunity to praise my family, friends, church, and Pooler MOPS for their incredible help and support during this time. God has been caring for me through you - so thank you for being a part of that!

You can read the article online here.

Chemotherapy: Week One

Thank you all so much for your prayers and words of encouragement to Erin this week. I want to give you a quick medical update so that you know how Erin is doing and how you can pray for her.

Erin received her first chemotherapy treatment on Tuesday (you can read about it below). She felt alright on Tuesday evening and Wednesday – she was up and about, but was just a little tired. By Thursday the fatigue and nausea she had been warned about began to set in and she spent more time in bed. On Friday her fatigue and nausea reached their peak and she also experienced side-effects like sensitivity to touch and a perpetual metallic taste in her mouth. Even though she was not feeling well, she did still have the strength to continue caring for Samuel, to eat meals with the rest of our family, and to do some reading over the past few days.

Today (Saturday) she is doing significantly better – much more energy, less nausea, and eagerness about feeling “back to normal.” Even though Erin may be feeling better within the next few days, she will not be able to do many of her normal activities – especially activities that require her to be around other people. The chemotherapy drugs severely decrease her immune system, so she needs to use discretion about everything from what food she eats (no raw fruits or vegetables) to how often she is around other people (at home or in public As much as she would love having visitors at the house and attending events at our church and Pooler MOPS, she will not be able to enjoy those things very regularly for the next several months. So as you continue to pray for Erin’s recovery from this first chemotherapy treatment in the coming days, please also pray that she will not grow too weary of being “housebound” in the coming months.

Thank You!

Though it seems like it has been a lot longer in many ways, it has only been one week since Erin found out she has breast cancer. Yet in the past week we have received an incredible number of encouraging phone calls, e-mails, and Facebook messages. Here in Pooler our church family and friends have provided us with wonderful practical help: meals, childcare, etc. And most importantly, we have had literally hundreds of people begin praying for Erin's healing and our family's perseverance through the coming months.

All we can say is "thank you." We certainly don't deserve such kindness, love, and generosity...but it has certainly been helpful and we are profoundly grateful to God for all of you. In so many ways, we have seen you fulfill Paul's words about the kind of love that should characterize the people of God:

Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord. Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality (Romans 12:10-13).

Thank you!

In Christ,
Matt and Erin