Thursday, April 2, 2015


Three years ago, around the time of my hysterectomy, I found out that my mom has a brain disease called Corticobasel Degeneration. It is a rare disease that is basically a combination of MS, Parkinson's, and Dementia.

I had just been to St. Louis to see my mom a few months earlier. Me and my sisters had given her a big surprise party for her 60th Birthday. Friends and family came in from all over. It was such a sweet time.

Currently, my mom is not doing well. Her balance, memory, speech, and overall health have declined very rapidly. She cannot walk any more, and she can barely speak. It seems that she is fairly aware of her physical limitations, which makes me her frustrated. As you can imagine, it makes me sad to see her in the this condition.

People have asked me questions along the lines of, "Why would God have them go through something like this?" When I was going through cancer I know I asked a lot of those questions. I think the reasons for why God allows suffering can sometimes be seen in this life, but are not easily seen or understood. Our "why" questions are important, and we should not be afraid to bring them to others and to God. But what matters more than the answer to our "why" questions are these three truths: God is in control, God is working for good, and God is present with us in our suffering.

I am so grateful for my sister, Katie, who lives in St. Louis and is helping care for my mom alongside Ned, my step-father. While Ned suffers from Parkinson's, but he still cares for my mom with grace, love, and humility. I am so grateful for him. It is hard to be away from my mom during this hard time, but she is in such good hands.

My dad passed away in 2003 from cancer and my mom will be with him soon. It will be hard to be without both of them in this life, but I know that I will see them again in heaven. And one day, because of Christ's resurrection, each of us will have glorified bodies that are free from the disease, pain, and decay that we had to endure on earth. In this season where we celebrate Christ's death and resurrection I can't help but have so much joy and gratitude in my heart for the salvation he has given to me. One day my whole family will have the privilege of not only being together, but of being together worshiping God our Father in Heaven singing with the angels.

In mansions of glory and endless delight,

I’ll ever adore Thee in heaven so bright;

I’ll sing with the glittering crown on my brow,

If ever I loved Thee, my Jesus, ’tis now.