Sunday, November 14, 2010

Be Still and Listen

I have had more quiet time in this past week than I am used to. My days are usually filled with constant cleaning, dressing kids, feeding kids, playing referee, playing, driving, organizing etc. I have had some wonderful help in this past week since I have not been feeling well. It has just been me and Samuel for most mornings. He does not talk to me much so I have had a lot of time to just think and read and pray. One of the ways I see this cancer as being a blessing is by making me realize how important it is to just be with God and listen. He has given me this cancer and though it is hard and makes me weary, I know it is for a good reason.  I must take joy in it because I do not deserve any better.

I have been reading a great book by Sally M. Knox who is a breast cancer doctor. She shares the thoughts of a breast cancer survivor at the end of her journey:
Cancer taught me I didn’t know if I had a tomorrow. Cancer taught me that true hope and love were based on confidence in God and on faith, not on egotistical plans for the future. Cancer taught me not to be overly optimistic about what I could do and what I could control. Instead it taught me to expect tribulation. Because cancer is tribulation -- but it’s a tribulation that taught me character. Cancer taught me to walk with God by involving my mind, my heart, and my will in that relationship. I learned that even though previously I had the Lord as my Savior, I had missed the best part, the relationship.
In these words I see a woman who was able to surrender all to God and truly listened to Him, and that is my prayer for myself as well.

“Be still and know that I am God; I will be exalted 
among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”
Psalm 46:10