Many times in the past month I have questioned why God has allowed such physical and emotional trials. When I was first diagnosed with breast cancer in October of 2010, I felt as if God had put this cancer in my life in order draw me closer to Him. He did that as He repeatedly opened my eyes to see and confess my sin, trust in His goodness, and be strengthened by His grace. Every time I “learned my lesson,” I thought the road would end there. But then another physical trial would come and the “trial-confession-trust-strength” cycle would repeat itself in a new set of circumstances.
But after this last surgery my faith was weak. The “trial” phase was painfully long and I was just plain tired of being "strengthened" by God in this way. At times, I was angry and stubbornly resisted any thought that God could strengthen me after such a physically exhausting and emotionally discouraging process.
But sure enough, though it took a little longer, God still pulled me back to him. I was once again reminded that He will not let me go, even when I am pushing Him away. My stubbornness is no match for His steadfast love.
It seems to me that God uses trials in our lives not only to bring about our personal sanctification but also to help sanctify--and even save--those around us. How many people have you met and witnessed to because of your cancer that you otherwise wouldn't have met? How many of your blog readers (me included -- I found you through a mutual friend :o)) have been blessed and encouraged by your testimony and witness to God's continued goodness and faithfulness?
ReplyDeleteAs an example, how has the Lord used the testimony of your father in your life? And consider Job--how many millions of people have learned about God through reading the book of Job's suffering? You may never know how often the Lord uses your journey with cancer to encourage His saints and to bring sinners to salvation.
Thank you for your real testimony of God's grace and mercy in your life. Many blessings as you continue to seek His face.
~Stacia
Beautiful Erin! You're a true testimony to others after all you have been through. Always thinking of you xoxo
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